character in a fight scene: *restrains their opponent by pinning them against the wall by their wrists*
me:
character in a fight scene: *pins their opponent down by straddling their waist and holding their wrists to the floor*
me:
character in a fight scene: *lifting their disarmed opponent’s chin slightly with the business end of their weapon*
me:
when its a man doing it to a woman:
So me and my friends were out playing pokemon go and we had to literally stop the car and turn around because we may have found the fanciest McDonald’s I’ve ever seen in my life
A MANSION
And the inside is actually beautiful??????
Like there were live plants and I felt like I was walking into an upscale hotel??
It also had a second fancy entrance???
Not only that but there was like a secret upstairs that’s apparently open usually, but it was too late for us to go up too (I’m deffo gonna go back and check that out because come on)
Like what is she hiding
But yeah I think I found either the most cursed or fanciest McDonalds in America
Also!
It was a pokestop!
This is a rare example of when zoning is a good thing, because it forces the generic McDonalds to look like surrounding architecture
I cannot believe op didn’t call it a McMansion
Southerner: oh man, there’s snow!1!! Guess we better uh… Not do a driving! *Drives 10 mph while sobbing*
Northerner: *driving a stick shift 80 mph in slick iced roads while eating a full cheese plate and blaring led zeppelins’ “immigrant song”*
the northerner instinct when spinning out is to take ones foot off the gas pedal and grumble in dril level deadpan of the bull shit that it is
I once drifted down the entire north side of Berthod Pass in a blizzard with about 10ft of visibility and that was in a car with only front wheel drive and a radiator that was folded in half from a prior incident with a lady who slammed on her breaks in the middle of the road. I was drinking a very delightful raspberry smoothie from the other side of the pass (which was sunny) the entire time.
Katy how have the mountain gods not smote you for your hubris yet?
@gallusrostromegalus @katy-l-wood i couldnt resist
hi I’m a therapist
some people come to me to break down severe childhood trauma
some people come to me because their job is super stressful
some people come to me because they’re worried all the time about stuff that they know they shouldn’t be worried about but they worry anyway
some people come to me because they’re bad at focusing
some people come to me because their mom said they should but they’re enjoying the experience anyway
what i’m saying is there is no wrong time, reason, or explanation to come see a therapist. we’re ready for you.
ambulance in my neighborhood: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
My dog: Oh shit! Oh shit it’s a bop
novel about a morally grey pirate captain who is cursed to die within 5 years for stealing some forbidden treasure, and only giving her heart to someone and expecting nothing back can break the curse
but rather than go on some journey to find some true love or whatever, she decides to use her last years to travel the seas with her crew and collect treasure and drink and be merry
and on the day of reckoning, she is falling more and more ill, and her crew gather all around her to say goodbye to their captain when suddenly the curse is broken. because she gave her whole heart to her ship and her crew, and expected nothing back.
#i like it #i really like stories about True Love that isn’t the romantic kind (x)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Oh oh oh oh oh yessssssssssss please
shakespeare is not pretentious. fans of shakespeare are pretentious. shakespeare is twelve hundred dirty jokes strung together by increasingly ridiculous plotlines and increasingly homosexual characters. don’t let the archaic language fool you
